I’ve spent a lot of time over the past week or so discussing Fifty Shades of Grey and I really didn’t spend any time on the man himself. When pulled apart, you have this sexual predator that was created by sexual abuse. He uses his wealth, power and looks to lure victims. He fights when she says no, tempts and seduces, until Mr. Grey gets what he wants. Mr. Grey is a stalker – not a romantic hero.
Why do women get the two things confused?? I didn’t cover it before, so here it goes:
If someone stalks you, they do not love you. Not really and not the way that is significant, lasting and honest. A stalker is looking to possess you, not love you. Big difference.
I understand, believe me, the power of being wanted. It’s intoxicating, it’s almost irresistible. Until you start looking at what that want really brings with it . You have to weigh being WANTED against what you want and need, otherwise you get swallowed up. I listened to Dakota Johnson talk about how she thought Anastasia was such a strong woman, so aware of what she’s worth as a person and I had to laugh. Why? Because she trades off knowing herself for a wealthy guy who stalked her until she gave in?
Do not be confused or fooled, ladies. There is nothing romantic about being stalked. That goes out to men, too.
Now that’s out of the way, it’s time to spend a little time talking about bad boys vs. good men. Mr. Grey is a bad boy (a very bad boy, no joke). He’s got the toys (fancy suits, luxe apartment, helicopters – all that his money can buy). He’s interested in what HE wants. The visible level of selfishness should really be the key to recognizing him, but it speaks to his immaturity and emotional issues, too. He’s not just a bad boy…he’s a swirling disaster of charm, money and mystery that will leave you miserable.
What’s a good man? This seems to be the riddle of the ages, but really, it’s pretty simple. He puts others ahead of himself, he values the woman that loves him and wants her taken care of. He loves their children with a fierce and tender protectiveness. When this guy wants you, there are no games, no ulterior motives. His intentions are honorable, and yes, he wants you sexually, but he’s not going to humiliate and abuse you because that’s not what turns him on. He knows his way around a hardware store and believe it or not, can use zip ties and duct tape for what they’re meant for (and in some cases, to save your life!)
In celebration of Valentine’s Day, I thought it might be fun to celebrate the “Mr. Right” characters that populate TV, Movies, Books and Comics. So, without further ado, I present the first of seven days of men I think are far better than Mr. Grey.
Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past few years, everyone knows about “The Walking Dead”. They may even know about Darryl Dixon, a character created for the show, who is a really great example of a rough around the edges guy who finds his inner hero during a time of crisis. However, I’d like to introduce you to Officer Rick Grimes, who becomes the leader of a small group that struggles their way through a zombie apocalypse while doing his best to raise his son (and eventually his baby daughter). Rick deals with all kinds of traumas over the course of the show, but never loses the qualities and strengths that make him a truly good man. As far as I’m concerned, if I had to pick an example of my own personal ideal man, Rick Grimes comes pretty darn close.
So, tune in tomorrow for more!